Can I live? There are a few things that bug-the-hell-outta-me-really-badly, and I will take this gorgeous, warm summer day to reflect, and enrage myself about them. Please note: If you fall prey to any of my ramblings, just smile and walk away, they are infact directed at you. That is, obviously, the reason I wrote them...sucker.
Design School Grads: Oh, "Design School", how you've really flooded the job market with cookie cutter PS3 Creative Suit robots. Thats the expensive version of Photoshop for all you "am's". I see you fresh out of SVA, dressed to the nines in clean pressed slim jeans, a nice olive v-neck t-shirt with something rediculous (like a boombox, or cropped floral shoulder pattern that you designed). I see you walking through DUMBO on the way to your studio, you are three years into your unpaid internship for a second rate (intelligent) hip-hop magazine, and the CEO has no plans to put you on payroll anytime soon. Granted, your profficieny on the powermac, and speedy production rate are suberb, your creative juice just ain't all there. I know, its tough trying to cut it in this industry, trust me, I'm trying! But if you don't have it, you just don't have it, and thats what design comes down to, design, and not Qwark skills, damnit!
Design School / School In General: This is why the Design School Grad with "sick nasty" administrative skills who sifts through the resumes at Crispin + Porter won't give me the time of day. Bummed.
Most Album Releases Circa 2008: I dont know what it is, but music is really sucking something sour this year. Does it have something to do with rapper newest infatuation with electronica, now electronica artists are trying to dissasociate themselves from the creeping genre? Is it because three fucking awesome releases clouded over ones that would normally be major any other year, given the fact that said three releases never got released. Or is it the fact that I'm just becoming an old geezer who doesn't age gracefully? "Now see, music these days, there is just no spirit involved, its just so generic!" Egh, man I hope not.
Shwazie / Shwayzee / Shawasse: Sorry bro, but the formulaic black hipster / white hipster (who digs his black friends appreciation for his roots no matter how hard he tries to disconnect from it) friendship makes for some very uninteresting TV, and even less interesting music, and even less interesting music vid-errr. At least 19 year old female residents of Williamsburg and Upper East Side (Trust me, the 19 year old female population is increasingly similar) have something to rejoice about. I guess.
Direction Nuts: The genius who came up with the directions for Ikea products is God. No words, pictures that make as much sense as cavemonster drawings, its a perfect formula to piss off any Swiss Army Knife weilding direction nerd. Just build the damn thing so it stays up! People who follow to much direction, at any point in their life, and for whatever reason really get under my smooth olive toned skin. "This card says that this is the Gallery listed on this pre-planned gallery walk" - Guy questioning his positioning. "Yep, its the place listed on that card, but we are a gallery on every other day too, its pretty obvious, look at the 20 foot super graphics hanging on the wall, dick head" - Me. "Well, in that case I guess I'll take a look around" - Guy, hesitent that this is indeed the place that was recommended for his gallery walk, even though its obviously a gallery.
Things That Designer Don't Actually Make, Yet High Profile Public Figures Think They Are Genuine:
Louis Vuitton headband and board shorts? Since when?
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